My heart is racing a mile a minute, I don't even know where to start. I think Kyle and I had it in our minds that sure, it was going to happen but still looked at it as surreal and just a thought and plan. I have a ticket receipt in my e-mail and a scheduled flight.
My world is spiralling and I haven't even gotten in contact with Lisa. She's the one who's taking me, she's the only one I want to take me, no one else even comes to mind. I'm so nervous. Will Kyle like me when I get there or will we both realize that this is the most idiotic mistake we've ever made?
No. I can't think that way. It's going to be amazing. We've both never done anything so crazy, so irrational just because of someone we don't even know. No one really ever has. We're insane, we're stupid, we're pathetic but we're in love and we're completely sure we want this.
My chest is tight, my brain doesn't know what to think about. Will I have problems in the airport? Will I have a ride to the airport? Will I miss my flight? Will something go terribly wrong? I always think things are going to go wrong or i'm going to mess something up but for the first time I really think that it's going to go just fine.
I'm going to really see him. Face to face. For the first time and for every day after that. We're going to be with each other every moment of every day of every week of every month of every year for as long as you can fathom.
We're going to drive each other crazy, we're going to want to punch each other, we're going to want to smack the other, kiss the other, beat up the other, hug the other, spoil the other, and the list goes on.
We sat there after he did and and asked each other over and over again, "Baby, what are we doing?" "Baby, what did we just do?" "Baby, this is serious" "Baby, oh my god". We're speechless ourselves I don't even want to know what people looking at the situation have to say if anything at all.
I haven't posted in this journal for ages except for random idiocies here and there but this is serious and this is amazing.
This is absolutely happening and the world is never going to be the same.
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